girlfriendluvr:

girlfriendluvr:

girlfriendluvr:

REVIEWS FOR VENOM JUST CAME IN AND IT’S A 28% ON ROTTEN TOMATOES!!!!!! THIS MOVIES GONNA BE SO FUCKIN FUNNY IM SO EXCITED. GOD I LOVE TERRIBLE SPIDERMAN MOVIES

“If you replaced Tom Hardy for Steve Martin in “All of Me,” and switched out Lily Tomlin for a wad of chewed-up black licorice, you’d have “Venom.”“

“When a major fight scene resembles a pair of black pants caught in a white wash, it’s fair to say you haven’t taken the audience with you.”

“It’s a train wreck of a movie, mixing and matching wildly dissonant tones, bizarre plot contrivances, and a truly unique lead performance.”

“Tom Hardy seems to be trying to be the first actor to win an Oscar and a Razzie for the same performance.”

“A film that feels like what you’d expect from a below average superhero flick circa 2004, like Ghost Rider or Fantastic Four.”

^ some of my fave critic review excerpts. i have never been more excited

some more

“The movie is so ridiculous that many viewers will at least be entertained in a dumbfounded way.”

“Think Affleck Daredevil. Think Ang Lee Hulk. Think Halle Berry Catwoman. That’s… I mean, that’s really all there is to be said, I think.”

“This is a movie that somehow slipped through a wormhole from 2004. That’s my biggest take. It’s a movie that spilled from the pre-MCU era through a crack in time and space… The humor, the story beats, everything right down to the Eminem theme song feels like it emerged Kimmy Schmidt style from a sealed off early ‘00s bunker.”

“Sorry to say that Venom is pretty much a complete failure — a tonal mess that feels 15 years old, ignoring the storytelling strides that the superhero genre has made in recent years.”

“Not sure I had the intended reactions to some scenes, but fun is fun — even when it’s totally ridiculous, right? It’s too bad they didn’t go for the R rating, though.”

“The cast seems to all know they’re in a darker superhero movie, except Tom Hardy who is basically remaking Jim Carrey’s Liar Liar.”

“At one point Tom Hardy and Venom make out.”

tits-n-trix:

ocfos:

rainberrywarrior:

grovie:

tiqerboy:

elpiso:

spock-ho:

theoldness:

bitch…omg

omfg

slam me in that Showert Deluxe… get me an omniwash™

this is a carwash for people

I hear if you turn them all on at once you can use the water pressure to glitch past the boss room

You fucker

Me, everytime an image is reposted: it’s either loss or do it to em and I know that once I figure it out I’m not gonna feel any better about having the cultural knowledge to understand this

libertybill:

durham68:

free-market-pluralist:

w0wls:

un-insecurity-council:

un-insecurity-council:

snoopingasusualisee:

weirdchristmas:

This is straight up terrifying.

I swear for the life of me I can’t find him in the second one. But I feel he’s there, I just feel it

So a thing you can do in this situation is go into Photoshop and have it live compare two images. Example:

Top Layer was the original, second layer was the one in question, and third is them subtracted and you can see his shirt pop out against the black.

But this one…

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Those two images are EXACTLY the same but I can feel him there. He’s got to be there

What am I looking for here? Who’s there?

Subtle.